Hey there Oldies!
Uhh, lemme make it plainer.
Hey there Parents!
Ya, this blog is dedicated to parents and I would really love if I get a response to this in the comment section down below as I myself am a daughter and I kinda face some of the stuff I'm gonna express in this blog.
So, recently one of my friends talked about "Parental Pressure" in his podcast "The 3 a.m. Talk" on Spotify, and that topic struck me hard when I realized that ya, it is something really necessary to talk about, not only with the generation of ours but also with the ones elder to us, that is the parents!
Seldom, some of the things, unknowingly, become "pressure" on the children. If you ask me, I broadly divide them into two categories. It can either be related to Career/Studies/Future OR Behaviour.
If you are interested in listening about parental pressure related to CAREER, click the link given below :)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1AkNllGc9qmBdfWZ95vulr?si=-L5HIvZ7TSaGyDzz__AvcQ&utm_source=copy-li
Well, I am here to talk about the "BEHAVIOURAL PARENTAL PRESSURE".
Before I start with that, let me make one thing clear.
We often misunderstand the term pressure. It is automatically considered a negative thing. No, it is not. Pressure is not always deleterious. But yes, it does start to get a little toxic when it is enforced.
Storytime...
In the case of behaviour, I'd say most parents ARE right.
My parents too have complaints regarding my behaviour. And I don't say they're wrong, I too accept that somewhere I do have behavioural issues.
But you know what, sometimes I don't buy that. I just don't.
My parents, especially my father, always taught me, "You're a girl, and society, no matter how broad-minded it gets, always expects a girl to be polite and soft-spoken. And even if we do not jump on being sexist, it is always better to be kind to others orally." I wanted to inherit that. Why not. It is good being good.
But unfortunately, I came out to be a little opposite of what he taught me.
I'm short-tempered. And when I lose it, I don't sound very pleasing, in fact, I sound really really rude.
Since my brother went abroad, there was no one to come in between the fights and send me to another room when the room got a little heated. Normal debates started to give rise to fights, which further aggravated itself into no-talking-phases that lasted literally weeks between my mum and me OR my father and me.
The main reason behind all the conflicts was the way I talked, the way I behaved.
I agree, I agree that I need to stop being rude and control my anger but I just couldn't find a way to divert my aggression.
At first stage I used to make annoying expressions, which were wrong according to them, then I started walking out of the conversation which seemed disrespectful, and now, *sigh* I talk back. Which I know is the most ill-bred thing to do.
My parents counsel me every time we get free and have a good talk-able environment. This topic surely comes up that you need to be polite, you need to improve. I feel good when they listen to me and try to understand what I'm going through. We discuss about it. I feel relaxed.
And yes, this is one of the pressures I face.
But, talking about this, rather Discussing, is not the toxic pressure.
You know, WHEN it gets the "pressure" pressure?
The moment you get to hear your flaws as taunts. The minute my parents backfire with the weakest points of me.
I feel NOT ENOUGH!
I feel that I'm nothing but a disappointment to my parents. I start to compare my nature, my behaviour with none other than my own real brother. That why am I so?
This seems like pressure!
When you try but don't succeed. When you think you've improved, but there is no appreciation from the other side.
We children need Reassurances and Appreciation.
You know the first time I heard the word "reassurance" was in a meme that said that "OVERTHINKERS need reassurances". This is SO NOT TRUE!
Everybody needs someone to make sure they're by their side at the lowest or the highest.
We want someone to keep us positive about our flaws in general. If the flaws are improvable, then we want someone to support us through the journey, keep us motivated. A person loses the motivation of doing anything when they see nothing but emptiness.
Parents out there...
I have zero aim of teaching you parenting, it's just that, I, being a child myself, knows what goes in that little head of ours so why not be a voice and tell you. Not every child opens up to their parents with their personal problems and complaints they have, why not I bring them up to you by and large.
My sole rationale is to make parents aware that sometimes, what they THINK is helping, or the method they're following is helping, actually doesn't. The things need to be moulded and presented in front of us that actually succour us.
Lastly, of course, a small note to my fellows, no matter what you're parents say or do, at the end, they're the sole well-wishers. They won't ever leave your side, like EVER. So respect them, love them and ya, share your stuff with them. you wont regret it :)
That is it.
If you're a parent reading this, do share your thoughts with me either in the comment section below or personally leave a message.
Spread love.
Keep smiling.
Radiate positivity.
~BooksButLife❤️
Never thought of parenting this way
thanks for a new view point for todays generation